I just wanted to let everyone know that in this moment I am so happy. I just arrived back in Mussoorie, back in my beautiful home with the lovely family that lives downstairs. Rishikesh and Haridwar were interesting, seeing the tourist aspect of what I saw in the mountains, and slowly realizing that the fact I saw these pilgrimage sites completely alone was truly a rare gift. Rishikesh also posed mosquitoes issues, but I absolutely fell in love with the Ganga there. I would dip in her waters at least twice a day as the days got hotter. I didn't even change out of my clothes for almost a week. I would sleep in them to cover as much of my body as possible to protect from the mosquitos, then in the mid morning I would dip into the ganga walk around with my wet clothes staying cool, and then in mid afternoon when my clothes had dried and I was getting hot again I would swim in her waters once more.
After my two good friends met me in Rishikesh, I returned with them to Delhi where it was about 107 daily. I feasted on take out food, mangoes and coconuts. Katherine and my friend's apartment had internet and television and I indulged in as much as both as possible. The days flew by quickly as I visited my home stay family, found books for my research and ate delicious food, including an amazing hot chocolate with cinnamon, saffron and rosewater.
Today I came back to Mussooire, it was so nice to have the air on my face resemble a cool breeze instead of a hot hairdryer like it did in Delhi. After coming home, I found an amazing store, Prakesh's general store! Instead of an hour hike down (and then back up) the mountain to get to any groceries, I found a beautiful 15min hike up a shady path right behind my house to this general store with over 10 kinds of cheese!! Gouda, sharp cheddar, blue, ricotta, Cabernet, Gruyeres!! Homemade jams, olives, olive oil, granola, pretzels, spices like oregano and rosemary, pastas and pancake mix! I was really overwhelmed with happiness of all the things I will be able to make in the coming weeks. I was silly and did not bring much money with me (though I have plenty left over from my stipend), so I got some cheddar, homemade apricot jam, and crackers and had an amazing feast of one of my favorite comfort food combinations. I just felt so happy to find this goldmine.
I am now in full academic mode, trying to analyze my crazy experience and place it a theoretical and academic context. In combing through my copious notes, research, journals and comments from all of you, I am realizing that I actually have a lot of information and I am currently in the stage of figuring out how to incorporated as much of it as possible.
So I just wanted to let everyone know that I am happy and safe in the throngs of academia once again, but this time surrounded by the amazing beauty of the mountains and trails, just no longer snow capped. Thank you all for your supportive comments, I can't describe how much they helped me persevere.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
My Heroine's Journey
This has been quite an intense week, every day has seemed like an eternity of experiences. I'll try to give some of the peaks and troughs of my experience in this e-mail, I don't think I can make it exhaustive but it will still be long.
So last week Monday morning I left for Yamunotri with a wilderness first aid trainer named Anna and a guide named Harmeek. We drove for six hours and arrived at this little village called Rana Chatti, about 30 min from Janki Chatti, the town closest to Yamunotri. However, Rana Chatti looked like a ghost town, there was no one even walking around the streets and all but one little stall that sold gum and candy was closed. Harmeek had to ask a hotel if they would open for us because we needed a place to stay and all the other towns around were also closed. About 30 min later, we had an entire hotel to ourselves. Inside they were doing a lot of construction in the main lobby, I am guessing in preparation for the upcoming tourist season. Moments after we were let inside a hail storm ascended on us, it was quite cold. That night we huddled in the kitchen for food and warmth, and that night we slept under huge smelly blankets that countless tired pilgrims before had used with all of our clothes still on for it was too cold to take them off to change.
Tuesday morning we got up early to make our way to Yamunotri. Yamuna is perhaps the second most sacred river in India. Yamuna is the twin sister of Yama, lord of the underworld, and it is thought that to bathe in her waters will ensure that you will be exempt from a painful death. She is also closely associated with Krishna since he grew up along her banks. We stopped in Janki Chatti and started to climb up the mountain. Because of the hail/ snow storm the night before, the path was covered with snow and because it was a clear day we got some amazing views of the newly powdered peaks. However, recovering from a fever, acclimating to high altitudes and not doing any exercise since arriving in India is a bad combo for trying to tackle a hike, even a fairly easy one. The climb up was rough for me. Anna just whizzed up there, I don't think she stopped even once. I tried to keep up with her, but realized it was futile. I think this was my first mistake because I blew out quickly. The rest of the climb up Harmeek patiently stayed behind, asking to carry my bags, if I needed medication or if I was okay. I stubbornly wanted to carry my own burden, this was the first day of my pilgrimage and I wanted to make it to the top, even though I was sweating bullets in the snow. I had a whole gambit of thoughts as I pushed my body farther than it wanted to go, wanting to give up, doubting this whole crazy pilgrimage business, questioning whether I should just return to Mussoorie and alter my project. Harmeek's comments that this was an easy hike and that it wasn't too high and urges to hurry up weren't exactly helping either. Eventually with the help of grabbing huge chunks of snow to suck on once my water was done, I reached the Yamunotri temple. At the site there was said to be hot springs, however the tanks were empty (this might have been for the best, I heard that the female tank was below the male tank and just had all the water from the male tank spilling over). The main temple was closed, but there was an adjacent temple that was open. I went inside and bowed to the black statue of Yamuna and her company of other deities. The Sadhus invited me to sit down and gave me some chai. Of course now that I finally got to sit down, all my sweat began to evaporate and my clothes were all wet, and I was absolutely freezing. I tried to scribble as much information as I could with my shivering hands. I was told that the old man in the corner was 108 years old and had been praying here for 40 years. After not too long I was hurried out so we could get down the mountain. Again Anna sprinted down, this time with the force of gravity working with me instead of against me I thought I could keep up. However by this time the sun had started to melt the snow, creating a parallel Yamuna along our trail we had to wade through as we descended. At some point I lost my footing in the current and began to run down the mountain trying to regain control of myself, I was moving too fast though and at a switchback I slammed into the railing that was fortunately there. I hit the railing with such force that my red Wesleyan water bottle was catapulted out of my bag. I held on to the railing out of breath as I watched my red bottle against the white snow fall in slow motion where I surely would have gone. A little shooken up I continued my decent, a little slower now not really caring if Anna had to wait. Harmeek reminded me a few times that it was a good thing that railing was there, I didn't know how to reply besides nodding my head. Across from Janki Chatti is a small village that Mr. Alter told me to visit called Kharsali. After eating a parantha, we headed across the river to this small town. In a much more relaxed manner I wrote about two temples I saw there, one to Shiv and another supposed built by Shani (Saturn) and without much more explanation but that. At the Shiv temple I didn't bring any money with me, so when the priest asked me of an offering I gave one of my bangles that had broken when I slammed against the railing. In return the priest gave me a flower blossom and told me to take it to Gangotri, to Yamuna's sister for Yamuna. There were some really beautiful wooden carvings around the village, and then we headed back to the car. Back at the hotel I was exhausted and a little overwhelmed by the experiences of my second day, Anna went off for another hike. We again had dinner in the kitchen. I forgot to mention that there was in frequent electricity as well, so our dinners were by candle light.
In the morning my body ached and I was apprehensive about continuing the journey alone when with helpful companions it had already proven itself difficult. Harmeek and Anna dropped me off in Barkot where I was put on a local bus to Uttarkashi, the largest town in this area. The steaks of old vomit down the sides of the bus from the windows was not encouraging, but I made sure at least I was by a window. I however felt grateful for all the construction even though it was destroying the land, just because the bumpy roads were able to ground me enough so that the curves did not make me sick. I arrived in Uttarkashi, tried to find some food but everything was closed. I found a hotel near the bus stand and asked for some dal and rice. A French couple bolted in as I sat down asking for food. They got the same thing as me. I found out they were going to Gaumukh, the glacier where Ganga comes from, and the same place I was planning on going. However they relayed to me the many difficulties of trying to get permission to go, including paying $500 US. After they left I went to my room and consulted with Mr. Alter and we decided with the weather and present conditions it was too dangerous and difficult for me to go to Gaumukh, plus I didn't have anyone to go with and after my little spill at Yamunotri I decided I did not really want to hike anywhere alone. I tried to sleep, but my sore body wouldn't let me.
Ok this was a really long day. At about 5 am I woke up to find a bus to Gangotri. I needed to stop at two little villages along the way as well, Harsil to see ganga's winter home and Lanka where another myth happened and there was a big gorge. A guide from Ladhak I had met the night before happened to be awake and helped translate for me. Because Gangotri, like Yamunotri was closed, there were no buses. Instead I found a share taxi that agreed to take me to a town called Dharali (i had never heard of it). I got in trusting it would all work out. Sandwiched between the window and 4 other men as approximate 19 other guys jumped in and out of the trunkish area, I eventually made it to Dharali. After having a cup of chai, I asked around for someone I was supposed to meet there, but apparently he was in Uttarkashi still. It seemed like the entire village had gathered to help solve my predicament, or at least to see what was going on. So I started to ask for people willing to give me a ride to Gangotri. one man offered, but as soon as he offered he came back and informed me that his car was out of oil. I was led to another guy, who as soon as he was asked closed up his shop and took out his motorcycle. I asked if anyone else had a car, and the villagers replied no. I hesitated, but decided to go for it, Gangotri was essential to my project and I wasn't going to come this far to not go. Strangely I also felt an re-kindled strength and resolve to go to deliver the flowers. I was given a mission and for whatever reason felt the need to complete it. I jumped on back, and it was the most beautiful ride of my life. Instead of trying to squeeze peaks of the mountains through old men's heads, I was freely able to look all around me. Because it was closed, we literally didn't see anyone else on the road. The air was fresh and clean, free from any car exhaust and smelly men. When we arrived, i could tell Gangotri was used to catering to a lot of people on a daily basis, but again no one was there. It was like being in Times Square with all the signs up, but all the shops closed and not a single soul on the streets in broad daylight. My driver friend (Mukesh), took me around to the temples and sights, and even took me to find the Pandava cave (where the Pandavs stayed for awhile). On the way back he pointed out a Sadhu sitting on top of this beautiful waterfall, he said I will meet. We hiked up to the waterfall, and this Sadhu smiled as she continued to finish her passage in the Ramayana. I was first surprised to see she was female, the first female Sadhu I had seen in India. When she finished her passage she closed the book and told me it was Hanuman's birthday and she was reading a special passage for him; she spoke fluent English! I spent about two hours with her, Bhakti Priya was her name. She spouted to me her philosophies on life, her embrace of her foolishness because it brought her peace, and the miracles she had witnessed (mostly of Hanuman). She apparently used to be Mukesh's English teacher, and assured me he was a good boy, but to be careful in India traveling alone as a female, she warned me it was dangerous. As we said goodbye to Bhakti Priya, the clouds started to gather again. On the way down it started to hail again, on the motor bike this hurt. I found out that ganga's winter home was actually in Mukhba, a town right across the water from Dharali, not in Harsil. So when we got back, we had some chai to warm up and then hiked up the hill to get Ganga Darsan. There really wasn't a path to Mukhba, there was only the semi-dry water way to follow up. When we arrived at the winter temple, we found out it didn't open for another 3.5 hours. I decided to stay, but informed Mukesh he didn't have to stay. It got really really cold. I tried to scribble my experiences but had to frequently take breaks to warm my hands because they were shaking too much. I did a bit of jogging around the town, but still could not warm up. After waiting for 2 hours, it started to get dark, and I decided I couldn't handle it anymore. I also figured that the waterway was getting more slippery and I needed the light to get down. I apologized to Ganga, felt guilty for not seeing the main deity of my project when nothing but a door and time was separating me from her, but I also decided that this project was not worth my health or safety. I made it back to Dharali, where I found out that the taxi I came in was the last taxi back to Uttarkashi for the day, so I got a room above the tea stall. I came down to get more chai and try to warm up. The villagers built a fire and gave me a prime seat, however every part of my body that was farther than a few inches from the flames was still freezing. I eventually ran up to my room, piled the two 5 inch thick blankets on top of each other (since I left my sleeping bag in my room in Uttarkashi because I thought I would be coming back the same day), put them both over my head to try to use my own breath to help warm up my cave. I still shivered for a few hours and again slept very little due to my aching cold body. However it was a great day.
In the morning I caught a share taxi back to Uttarkashi blaring some Om Krishna songs from a tape, repeating the same 3 songs the entire time. In Uttarkashi I asked how to get to Devpravag. Though I got many different answers, I got the consensus that some bus left in the morning, but there were no more for the day. I spent the day exploring the temples in Uttarkashi and called Mukesh's friend Ganga to show me around, Ganga was perhaps a couple of years younger than me and she was very amused by the fact we both had brown hair and wore glasses. She hurried me through the temples a bit faster than I wanted to go, but also showed me many temples I wouldn't have found on my own. She also took me home to meet her family which was very nice. Afterwards I went back to the hotel, exhausted. I prepared for my journey the next day. At 10pm as I was falling asleep there was a knock on my door. One of the servants in the hotel who had come many times before. He said something like "me sleep here?" I thought it was a misunderstanding at first, I shook my head and said no figuring anything he was asking I didn't want since i just wanted to sleep. But he insisted, "me sleep here please? with you, sleep." After a "what?!" or two from me, I began to close the door, but he stuck his foot in and started to try to push his way in. I had to physically shove him out and lock the door as quickly as I could. I didn't sleep much this night either.
I woke up a full 2 hours before I was told the bus left, thinking I just wanted out of this hotel as soon as possible. It was a good thing too because the bus to Devpryag was left 1.5 hours earlier than what i was told. I got my seat, was told it was a 5 hour bus ride and by 30 min into the ride, the three people surrounding me were throwing up out the doors and windows. A woman actually started to sit on me because I didn't want to give up my seat and stand, and she wanted to be near the door. I won a lot of instant merit giving drammine pills to those around me, and in another hour everyone stopped throwing up. However the bus ride was still long, more like eight hours, and it was rough. The claustrophobia of having so many people hovering over me and around me, as well as the better paved roads made it a rather uncomfortable ride for me, and I began to contemplate the price for cheaper things in India. Eventually I made it to Devprayag, the confluence of the two rivers and where the river Bhagirathi becomes known as Ganga. I asked some old man where the rivers were. Our understanding was limited, but eventually he started to lead me. He took me down, I dipped my hands in the cold waters and then asked if he could help me find a guest house. As we started to climb back up the stairs with my huge backpack in the now getting hot sun, a Sadhu came out of this cave and invited me inside. I told him I would come back but I needed to find some place to put my bag down. He assured me that I could stay at his ashram free of charge. For whatever reason, though I was feeling pretty guarded from the night before, I decided to trust him. I spent the day in his cave, meeting many foreigners and locals that dropped by. He continually called this cave my home, my temple and offered me to come back at any time. After watching the evening ceremony, I walked the 2km to his ashram. It was a beautiful, a room that was built into the cliff so half of the room was still rock. Though there was no bed, the room was lovely and cozy. He fed me some rice and dal, and I went to sleep. In the morning he gave me lemon, ginger honey tea and let me take my time to wake up and meet him back at the river. I kept expecting him to ask for money, but he never did. Eventually I offered him some money as a thank you for feeding me and taking such good care of me, he was shocked at this offer. Even though I had watched for hours the previous day almost everyone offer him money and him taking it freely, when I offered him, he pushed it away and instead gave me 120 rupees "for my trip back home to Mussoorie." After a long conversation, he eventually agreed to take the money back. I was just so touched by his unconditional giving of me. He made a large bucket full of Roti dough, handed me a very large ball and led me to a perch in the rock and told me to break of little pieces to feed the fish. I sat there for perhaps 30 min slowly picking off pieces and feeding the many insatiable mouths of the Ganga in the form of fish. When I finished to say thank you and goodbye, he handed me another large ball. I spent a total of over an hour feeding these fish. I thanked him many times over and then found my way back to the bus stand. I couldn't go straight to Mussoorie, instead I had to go through Rishikesh. I decided to stop by and find Agni for lunch in Rishikesh. When I arrived, I was completely overwhelmed by the number of people, of white people and English signs! I eventually find Agni's abode called the Last Chance Cafe. I decided to spend the night because I was utterly exhausted. However the misquotes at last chance were an issue in the night.
In the morning one of the guys from Last Chance helped me find my way through Dehra Dun and back to Mussoorie. I made my last hike up a mountain with this particular backpack and load. It was a little over an hour when I surprised the family i was staying with with my early return. I took a very cold shower and washed up before meeting with Mr. Alter and retrieving my computer. I repacked my bags and prepared to leave for Haridwar the next morning, the place where the Ganga leaves the mountains and spills onto the Indian plains. I heard there was two Devi temples, so I made that my first stop. Haridwar was really hot, like really warm. The breeze from the car windows just felt like a hairblow dryer on my face. When I arrived at the entrance for the first Devi, Mansa Devi--a wish giving deity, I was totally shocked to see a long list of prices for cable cars and packages. I decided to embrace the tourist aspect of my pilgrimage. I took a cable car up the mountain past manicured gardens and past tons of stalls selling offerings, music videos, knick-knacks, ice cream, sodas and more. I decided this was like a Devi Disney land. The attractions and concessions continued, complete with rides and even little statues of mickey mouse. I saw the Chandi devi as well as another Anjuna Devi. I was completely overwhelmed. Because I had re-packed I was carrying a lot less and still hadn't found a place to stay. Some other people had warned me that Haridwar was a little seedy. Though I felt fine, when the taxi dropped some people at the bus stand I decided just to go back to Rishikesh since I would be going there first thing in the morning and it was a short ride (40 min). I arrived in Rishikesh and surprised Agni yet again as was welcomed back by everyone else at Last Chance.
Today I spent the day here, reading and relaxing for the most part. I caught up on my field journal and took my first full immersion into the river Ganga. Tomorrow I will hopefully complete my research in Rishikesh, take the weekend to enjoy with some friends from the program coming from Delhi and then picking up some books I need in Delhi before returning to Mussooire to write my paper. My head is still whirling with my experiences. I think overall I had a good experience. I am not sure what I learned yet, but I know I have a lot of reflections to sort through. Much love always and just wanted to let everyone know I survived. Much love,
~Tara
So last week Monday morning I left for Yamunotri with a wilderness first aid trainer named Anna and a guide named Harmeek. We drove for six hours and arrived at this little village called Rana Chatti, about 30 min from Janki Chatti, the town closest to Yamunotri. However, Rana Chatti looked like a ghost town, there was no one even walking around the streets and all but one little stall that sold gum and candy was closed. Harmeek had to ask a hotel if they would open for us because we needed a place to stay and all the other towns around were also closed. About 30 min later, we had an entire hotel to ourselves. Inside they were doing a lot of construction in the main lobby, I am guessing in preparation for the upcoming tourist season. Moments after we were let inside a hail storm ascended on us, it was quite cold. That night we huddled in the kitchen for food and warmth, and that night we slept under huge smelly blankets that countless tired pilgrims before had used with all of our clothes still on for it was too cold to take them off to change.
Tuesday morning we got up early to make our way to Yamunotri. Yamuna is perhaps the second most sacred river in India. Yamuna is the twin sister of Yama, lord of the underworld, and it is thought that to bathe in her waters will ensure that you will be exempt from a painful death. She is also closely associated with Krishna since he grew up along her banks. We stopped in Janki Chatti and started to climb up the mountain. Because of the hail/ snow storm the night before, the path was covered with snow and because it was a clear day we got some amazing views of the newly powdered peaks. However, recovering from a fever, acclimating to high altitudes and not doing any exercise since arriving in India is a bad combo for trying to tackle a hike, even a fairly easy one. The climb up was rough for me. Anna just whizzed up there, I don't think she stopped even once. I tried to keep up with her, but realized it was futile. I think this was my first mistake because I blew out quickly. The rest of the climb up Harmeek patiently stayed behind, asking to carry my bags, if I needed medication or if I was okay. I stubbornly wanted to carry my own burden, this was the first day of my pilgrimage and I wanted to make it to the top, even though I was sweating bullets in the snow. I had a whole gambit of thoughts as I pushed my body farther than it wanted to go, wanting to give up, doubting this whole crazy pilgrimage business, questioning whether I should just return to Mussoorie and alter my project. Harmeek's comments that this was an easy hike and that it wasn't too high and urges to hurry up weren't exactly helping either. Eventually with the help of grabbing huge chunks of snow to suck on once my water was done, I reached the Yamunotri temple. At the site there was said to be hot springs, however the tanks were empty (this might have been for the best, I heard that the female tank was below the male tank and just had all the water from the male tank spilling over). The main temple was closed, but there was an adjacent temple that was open. I went inside and bowed to the black statue of Yamuna and her company of other deities. The Sadhus invited me to sit down and gave me some chai. Of course now that I finally got to sit down, all my sweat began to evaporate and my clothes were all wet, and I was absolutely freezing. I tried to scribble as much information as I could with my shivering hands. I was told that the old man in the corner was 108 years old and had been praying here for 40 years. After not too long I was hurried out so we could get down the mountain. Again Anna sprinted down, this time with the force of gravity working with me instead of against me I thought I could keep up. However by this time the sun had started to melt the snow, creating a parallel Yamuna along our trail we had to wade through as we descended. At some point I lost my footing in the current and began to run down the mountain trying to regain control of myself, I was moving too fast though and at a switchback I slammed into the railing that was fortunately there. I hit the railing with such force that my red Wesleyan water bottle was catapulted out of my bag. I held on to the railing out of breath as I watched my red bottle against the white snow fall in slow motion where I surely would have gone. A little shooken up I continued my decent, a little slower now not really caring if Anna had to wait. Harmeek reminded me a few times that it was a good thing that railing was there, I didn't know how to reply besides nodding my head. Across from Janki Chatti is a small village that Mr. Alter told me to visit called Kharsali. After eating a parantha, we headed across the river to this small town. In a much more relaxed manner I wrote about two temples I saw there, one to Shiv and another supposed built by Shani (Saturn) and without much more explanation but that. At the Shiv temple I didn't bring any money with me, so when the priest asked me of an offering I gave one of my bangles that had broken when I slammed against the railing. In return the priest gave me a flower blossom and told me to take it to Gangotri, to Yamuna's sister for Yamuna. There were some really beautiful wooden carvings around the village, and then we headed back to the car. Back at the hotel I was exhausted and a little overwhelmed by the experiences of my second day, Anna went off for another hike. We again had dinner in the kitchen. I forgot to mention that there was in frequent electricity as well, so our dinners were by candle light.
In the morning my body ached and I was apprehensive about continuing the journey alone when with helpful companions it had already proven itself difficult. Harmeek and Anna dropped me off in Barkot where I was put on a local bus to Uttarkashi, the largest town in this area. The steaks of old vomit down the sides of the bus from the windows was not encouraging, but I made sure at least I was by a window. I however felt grateful for all the construction even though it was destroying the land, just because the bumpy roads were able to ground me enough so that the curves did not make me sick. I arrived in Uttarkashi, tried to find some food but everything was closed. I found a hotel near the bus stand and asked for some dal and rice. A French couple bolted in as I sat down asking for food. They got the same thing as me. I found out they were going to Gaumukh, the glacier where Ganga comes from, and the same place I was planning on going. However they relayed to me the many difficulties of trying to get permission to go, including paying $500 US. After they left I went to my room and consulted with Mr. Alter and we decided with the weather and present conditions it was too dangerous and difficult for me to go to Gaumukh, plus I didn't have anyone to go with and after my little spill at Yamunotri I decided I did not really want to hike anywhere alone. I tried to sleep, but my sore body wouldn't let me.
Ok this was a really long day. At about 5 am I woke up to find a bus to Gangotri. I needed to stop at two little villages along the way as well, Harsil to see ganga's winter home and Lanka where another myth happened and there was a big gorge. A guide from Ladhak I had met the night before happened to be awake and helped translate for me. Because Gangotri, like Yamunotri was closed, there were no buses. Instead I found a share taxi that agreed to take me to a town called Dharali (i had never heard of it). I got in trusting it would all work out. Sandwiched between the window and 4 other men as approximate 19 other guys jumped in and out of the trunkish area, I eventually made it to Dharali. After having a cup of chai, I asked around for someone I was supposed to meet there, but apparently he was in Uttarkashi still. It seemed like the entire village had gathered to help solve my predicament, or at least to see what was going on. So I started to ask for people willing to give me a ride to Gangotri. one man offered, but as soon as he offered he came back and informed me that his car was out of oil. I was led to another guy, who as soon as he was asked closed up his shop and took out his motorcycle. I asked if anyone else had a car, and the villagers replied no. I hesitated, but decided to go for it, Gangotri was essential to my project and I wasn't going to come this far to not go. Strangely I also felt an re-kindled strength and resolve to go to deliver the flowers. I was given a mission and for whatever reason felt the need to complete it. I jumped on back, and it was the most beautiful ride of my life. Instead of trying to squeeze peaks of the mountains through old men's heads, I was freely able to look all around me. Because it was closed, we literally didn't see anyone else on the road. The air was fresh and clean, free from any car exhaust and smelly men. When we arrived, i could tell Gangotri was used to catering to a lot of people on a daily basis, but again no one was there. It was like being in Times Square with all the signs up, but all the shops closed and not a single soul on the streets in broad daylight. My driver friend (Mukesh), took me around to the temples and sights, and even took me to find the Pandava cave (where the Pandavs stayed for awhile). On the way back he pointed out a Sadhu sitting on top of this beautiful waterfall, he said I will meet. We hiked up to the waterfall, and this Sadhu smiled as she continued to finish her passage in the Ramayana. I was first surprised to see she was female, the first female Sadhu I had seen in India. When she finished her passage she closed the book and told me it was Hanuman's birthday and she was reading a special passage for him; she spoke fluent English! I spent about two hours with her, Bhakti Priya was her name. She spouted to me her philosophies on life, her embrace of her foolishness because it brought her peace, and the miracles she had witnessed (mostly of Hanuman). She apparently used to be Mukesh's English teacher, and assured me he was a good boy, but to be careful in India traveling alone as a female, she warned me it was dangerous. As we said goodbye to Bhakti Priya, the clouds started to gather again. On the way down it started to hail again, on the motor bike this hurt. I found out that ganga's winter home was actually in Mukhba, a town right across the water from Dharali, not in Harsil. So when we got back, we had some chai to warm up and then hiked up the hill to get Ganga Darsan. There really wasn't a path to Mukhba, there was only the semi-dry water way to follow up. When we arrived at the winter temple, we found out it didn't open for another 3.5 hours. I decided to stay, but informed Mukesh he didn't have to stay. It got really really cold. I tried to scribble my experiences but had to frequently take breaks to warm my hands because they were shaking too much. I did a bit of jogging around the town, but still could not warm up. After waiting for 2 hours, it started to get dark, and I decided I couldn't handle it anymore. I also figured that the waterway was getting more slippery and I needed the light to get down. I apologized to Ganga, felt guilty for not seeing the main deity of my project when nothing but a door and time was separating me from her, but I also decided that this project was not worth my health or safety. I made it back to Dharali, where I found out that the taxi I came in was the last taxi back to Uttarkashi for the day, so I got a room above the tea stall. I came down to get more chai and try to warm up. The villagers built a fire and gave me a prime seat, however every part of my body that was farther than a few inches from the flames was still freezing. I eventually ran up to my room, piled the two 5 inch thick blankets on top of each other (since I left my sleeping bag in my room in Uttarkashi because I thought I would be coming back the same day), put them both over my head to try to use my own breath to help warm up my cave. I still shivered for a few hours and again slept very little due to my aching cold body. However it was a great day.
In the morning I caught a share taxi back to Uttarkashi blaring some Om Krishna songs from a tape, repeating the same 3 songs the entire time. In Uttarkashi I asked how to get to Devpravag. Though I got many different answers, I got the consensus that some bus left in the morning, but there were no more for the day. I spent the day exploring the temples in Uttarkashi and called Mukesh's friend Ganga to show me around, Ganga was perhaps a couple of years younger than me and she was very amused by the fact we both had brown hair and wore glasses. She hurried me through the temples a bit faster than I wanted to go, but also showed me many temples I wouldn't have found on my own. She also took me home to meet her family which was very nice. Afterwards I went back to the hotel, exhausted. I prepared for my journey the next day. At 10pm as I was falling asleep there was a knock on my door. One of the servants in the hotel who had come many times before. He said something like "me sleep here?" I thought it was a misunderstanding at first, I shook my head and said no figuring anything he was asking I didn't want since i just wanted to sleep. But he insisted, "me sleep here please? with you, sleep." After a "what?!" or two from me, I began to close the door, but he stuck his foot in and started to try to push his way in. I had to physically shove him out and lock the door as quickly as I could. I didn't sleep much this night either.
I woke up a full 2 hours before I was told the bus left, thinking I just wanted out of this hotel as soon as possible. It was a good thing too because the bus to Devpryag was left 1.5 hours earlier than what i was told. I got my seat, was told it was a 5 hour bus ride and by 30 min into the ride, the three people surrounding me were throwing up out the doors and windows. A woman actually started to sit on me because I didn't want to give up my seat and stand, and she wanted to be near the door. I won a lot of instant merit giving drammine pills to those around me, and in another hour everyone stopped throwing up. However the bus ride was still long, more like eight hours, and it was rough. The claustrophobia of having so many people hovering over me and around me, as well as the better paved roads made it a rather uncomfortable ride for me, and I began to contemplate the price for cheaper things in India. Eventually I made it to Devprayag, the confluence of the two rivers and where the river Bhagirathi becomes known as Ganga. I asked some old man where the rivers were. Our understanding was limited, but eventually he started to lead me. He took me down, I dipped my hands in the cold waters and then asked if he could help me find a guest house. As we started to climb back up the stairs with my huge backpack in the now getting hot sun, a Sadhu came out of this cave and invited me inside. I told him I would come back but I needed to find some place to put my bag down. He assured me that I could stay at his ashram free of charge. For whatever reason, though I was feeling pretty guarded from the night before, I decided to trust him. I spent the day in his cave, meeting many foreigners and locals that dropped by. He continually called this cave my home, my temple and offered me to come back at any time. After watching the evening ceremony, I walked the 2km to his ashram. It was a beautiful, a room that was built into the cliff so half of the room was still rock. Though there was no bed, the room was lovely and cozy. He fed me some rice and dal, and I went to sleep. In the morning he gave me lemon, ginger honey tea and let me take my time to wake up and meet him back at the river. I kept expecting him to ask for money, but he never did. Eventually I offered him some money as a thank you for feeding me and taking such good care of me, he was shocked at this offer. Even though I had watched for hours the previous day almost everyone offer him money and him taking it freely, when I offered him, he pushed it away and instead gave me 120 rupees "for my trip back home to Mussoorie." After a long conversation, he eventually agreed to take the money back. I was just so touched by his unconditional giving of me. He made a large bucket full of Roti dough, handed me a very large ball and led me to a perch in the rock and told me to break of little pieces to feed the fish. I sat there for perhaps 30 min slowly picking off pieces and feeding the many insatiable mouths of the Ganga in the form of fish. When I finished to say thank you and goodbye, he handed me another large ball. I spent a total of over an hour feeding these fish. I thanked him many times over and then found my way back to the bus stand. I couldn't go straight to Mussoorie, instead I had to go through Rishikesh. I decided to stop by and find Agni for lunch in Rishikesh. When I arrived, I was completely overwhelmed by the number of people, of white people and English signs! I eventually find Agni's abode called the Last Chance Cafe. I decided to spend the night because I was utterly exhausted. However the misquotes at last chance were an issue in the night.
In the morning one of the guys from Last Chance helped me find my way through Dehra Dun and back to Mussoorie. I made my last hike up a mountain with this particular backpack and load. It was a little over an hour when I surprised the family i was staying with with my early return. I took a very cold shower and washed up before meeting with Mr. Alter and retrieving my computer. I repacked my bags and prepared to leave for Haridwar the next morning, the place where the Ganga leaves the mountains and spills onto the Indian plains. I heard there was two Devi temples, so I made that my first stop. Haridwar was really hot, like really warm. The breeze from the car windows just felt like a hairblow dryer on my face. When I arrived at the entrance for the first Devi, Mansa Devi--a wish giving deity, I was totally shocked to see a long list of prices for cable cars and packages. I decided to embrace the tourist aspect of my pilgrimage. I took a cable car up the mountain past manicured gardens and past tons of stalls selling offerings, music videos, knick-knacks, ice cream, sodas and more. I decided this was like a Devi Disney land. The attractions and concessions continued, complete with rides and even little statues of mickey mouse. I saw the Chandi devi as well as another Anjuna Devi. I was completely overwhelmed. Because I had re-packed I was carrying a lot less and still hadn't found a place to stay. Some other people had warned me that Haridwar was a little seedy. Though I felt fine, when the taxi dropped some people at the bus stand I decided just to go back to Rishikesh since I would be going there first thing in the morning and it was a short ride (40 min). I arrived in Rishikesh and surprised Agni yet again as was welcomed back by everyone else at Last Chance.
Today I spent the day here, reading and relaxing for the most part. I caught up on my field journal and took my first full immersion into the river Ganga. Tomorrow I will hopefully complete my research in Rishikesh, take the weekend to enjoy with some friends from the program coming from Delhi and then picking up some books I need in Delhi before returning to Mussooire to write my paper. My head is still whirling with my experiences. I think overall I had a good experience. I am not sure what I learned yet, but I know I have a lot of reflections to sort through. Much love always and just wanted to let everyone know I survived. Much love,
~Tara
Sunday, April 5, 2009
And Down the Rabbit Hole I go!
So I took my first plunge and got to Mussoorie. My house is beautiful.
It has a large sitting room, my own bathroom and kitchen as well as a
king sized bed in my own bedroom. There is a lovely balcony with an
amazing view. The only down side is the fact that it is not a 10 min
walk but more like an hour walk away from town, and it is not a hill, it
is climbing a mountain. Fortunately the people I am renting from are
very sweet and have allowed offered me rides to and from town. Mussoorie
is very friendly with amazing views everywhere you look.
I feel my pilgrimage began yesterday when I decided to walk to and from
town on my own. I went to town around 4pm, looked around and saw the
shops and restaurants, and then slowly made my way up the mountain
collecting vegetables, water and various other little things for my
dinner at home at the last shops possible so I didn't have to carry them
that far. On the way up, i brought my ipod to keep my company, but i
decided not to listen to it. Instead I reflected on my pilgrimage
project, what is added and what is lost by physically walking versus
taking buses or cars, and instead listened to the sounds of my own
breath, my heart pounding and the chirps of the animals coming out as
night fell. I arrived home absolutely exhausted. I could do nothing but
collapse in my bed, crawl under the covers, eat a few pringles and fall
asleep. I slept for almost 12 hours. Now I am still coming off my fever
as well as much emotional turmoil over this crazy journey of mine, but
this exhaustion over a couple of hours of walking made me nervous.
Today I met with Stephen Alter, my inspiration for this entire
pilgrimage and so in some ways my own personal deity. He invited me to
his home (another unexpected hike), and was so helpful. We created a new
itinerary that I feel very good about, answered all my questions and
gave me resources. It all just happened so fast. Not only does he know
like everything, he was also very supportive about me finding and
creating my own narrative as my journey ensues. He further mentioned to
not feel bad or even alarmed if I decide to come back to Mussoorie. He
said that there are many goddesses and shrines near Mussoorie with lots
of interesting folklore that he could introduce me to and get material
to write about, and that often one finds the best things in unexpected
places. Needless to say, he is my hero. He then mentioned that I could
go straight to Yamnuotri from Mussoorie and save a day and a half of
travel, and then added that he knew someone going that perhaps I could
get a ride with. After our meeting we met this person (anna) who said
yes she was going and would love my company, and that I can meet her at
10am TOMORROW!!! So it looks like I am starting my journey a day early!
I am currently running around getting water purifying tablets and warm
shawls and heading back home to back up, AHHHH!! What am I doing?? I
actually feel a lot better, I know I will be fine. I will seek out
others to travel with, my schedule is much more flexible now. I can't
believe this is happening so fast, but I am excited.
I will probably be out of e-mail range until I get back which will
likely be around April 21. I miss you all and looking forward to e-mails
from you when I return
It has a large sitting room, my own bathroom and kitchen as well as a
king sized bed in my own bedroom. There is a lovely balcony with an
amazing view. The only down side is the fact that it is not a 10 min
walk but more like an hour walk away from town, and it is not a hill, it
is climbing a mountain. Fortunately the people I am renting from are
very sweet and have allowed offered me rides to and from town. Mussoorie
is very friendly with amazing views everywhere you look.
I feel my pilgrimage began yesterday when I decided to walk to and from
town on my own. I went to town around 4pm, looked around and saw the
shops and restaurants, and then slowly made my way up the mountain
collecting vegetables, water and various other little things for my
dinner at home at the last shops possible so I didn't have to carry them
that far. On the way up, i brought my ipod to keep my company, but i
decided not to listen to it. Instead I reflected on my pilgrimage
project, what is added and what is lost by physically walking versus
taking buses or cars, and instead listened to the sounds of my own
breath, my heart pounding and the chirps of the animals coming out as
night fell. I arrived home absolutely exhausted. I could do nothing but
collapse in my bed, crawl under the covers, eat a few pringles and fall
asleep. I slept for almost 12 hours. Now I am still coming off my fever
as well as much emotional turmoil over this crazy journey of mine, but
this exhaustion over a couple of hours of walking made me nervous.
Today I met with Stephen Alter, my inspiration for this entire
pilgrimage and so in some ways my own personal deity. He invited me to
his home (another unexpected hike), and was so helpful. We created a new
itinerary that I feel very good about, answered all my questions and
gave me resources. It all just happened so fast. Not only does he know
like everything, he was also very supportive about me finding and
creating my own narrative as my journey ensues. He further mentioned to
not feel bad or even alarmed if I decide to come back to Mussoorie. He
said that there are many goddesses and shrines near Mussoorie with lots
of interesting folklore that he could introduce me to and get material
to write about, and that often one finds the best things in unexpected
places. Needless to say, he is my hero. He then mentioned that I could
go straight to Yamnuotri from Mussoorie and save a day and a half of
travel, and then added that he knew someone going that perhaps I could
get a ride with. After our meeting we met this person (anna) who said
yes she was going and would love my company, and that I can meet her at
10am TOMORROW!!! So it looks like I am starting my journey a day early!
I am currently running around getting water purifying tablets and warm
shawls and heading back home to back up, AHHHH!! What am I doing?? I
actually feel a lot better, I know I will be fine. I will seek out
others to travel with, my schedule is much more flexible now. I can't
believe this is happening so fast, but I am excited.
I will probably be out of e-mail range until I get back which will
likely be around April 21. I miss you all and looking forward to e-mails
from you when I return
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
feverish beginnings
So I have been rather sick since my last update. Last week we think my roomate Katherine got some kind of virus. We didn't think it was related to bad food or water because anything she would have eaten/ drank other people had too, furthermore she had a fever and body aches which made us think of the flu. Katherine slept for three days and was fine. This past weekend while studying for our finals, I all of a sudden started to feel weak. I came down with a high fever, among other things which I will not go into because it wasn't pretty. I ended up skipping class/ my written hindi final on Monday. While I slept for much of Sunday and Monday.
However on I have been trying to get an e-mail with JNU professor that my academic director claims to be a very difficult person to get a hold of. After some e-mail exchanges he told me to call on monday to figure out a time. So I called him and he told me without much option to come see him at 2:30. I studied and rested until then, however I started to have chills. I went to see him anyways, had a really good interview, he gave me a lot of good information. However when I returned my fever was even worse, somewhere between 101 and 102. My body was burning and I asked my homestay to give me a cold cloth. After some rounds of the cold compress I felt much better. My Mama continually informed me that I was weaker than Katherine which is why my fever was so much worse. She blamed my weaker constitution on the fact that she thinks I eat very little. Me? have a small appetite? I don't think in my entire life I have been accused of having a small appetite, but somehow Mama has gotten that concept into her head. Perhaps this gives you an idea of how much they try to feed us. Tuesday morning I felt much better, though still not 100%. I came to school to take all three of my finals to get them over with since stressing while I was trying to rest wasn't really working out for me.
When I arrived at school I was greeted by two packages, one from my mother and one from Aunt Joan. Getting these packages lifted my spirits instantaneously. It is kinda funny, being with this group for these three months. We have all bought our entire wardrobes here, so we all know all of each other's outfits, hence we all notice very small changes very quickly. Literally within moments of me putting on my new earrings from Aunt Joan people complimented me on them and asked where I got them from, students and teachers. It is very strange that I have been with these same 17 people for the whole semester and starting on saturday I will not see any of them for an entire month, more than that I will be alone for a whole month. On my journey to Jaisalmer I was away from Katherine for the first time for longer than 12 hours since literally the first day here, and it felt so strange.
Right now I am in the "nervous anticipatory phase." It is the same feeling I had before coming to coming to India, before coming to Wesleyan, before coming to UWC. It is the "oh my god am I really doing this" phase. The feeling before embarking on something completely unknown but knowing I will tackle what ever comes my and that some how I will get through it. To help ease and aide this feeling I took my first step in my pilgrimage yesterday.
A pilgrimage is a simultaneous physical and spiritual discipline. I wanted to cut my hair before India but decided to do it in India. In short I have thought about it many times but my plans kept getting postponed. I decided it would be a good idea to cut my hair for in the mountains it would be cooler while hiking to have shorter hair as well as take less resources (water and soap) to maintain. I finally decided to get my hair cut on my birthday, as a birthday gift to myself as well as a symbolic renewal of myself. However, yesterday I tried to get in the house but no one answered, so in a moment of compulsion I went to the salon across the street and got my hair cut. It is now just above shoulder length. After coming home everyone seemed to think that I in fact look better with short hair, I rather like it too though I am still getting used to it. So I have taken my first physical transformation on my spiritual journey to understand the myths of the himalayas.
As I said before, I will be leaving on Saturday for the mountains and will be there until May 5th. I should have limited internet access from april 4th-7th, and then again from April 23-May 5th. In between I will be hiking in the mountains. Wish me luck for I am currently feeling the "oh my god am I really doing this" emotion, but I should come back with at least some good stories.
Much love always
However on I have been trying to get an e-mail with JNU professor that my academic director claims to be a very difficult person to get a hold of. After some e-mail exchanges he told me to call on monday to figure out a time. So I called him and he told me without much option to come see him at 2:30. I studied and rested until then, however I started to have chills. I went to see him anyways, had a really good interview, he gave me a lot of good information. However when I returned my fever was even worse, somewhere between 101 and 102. My body was burning and I asked my homestay to give me a cold cloth. After some rounds of the cold compress I felt much better. My Mama continually informed me that I was weaker than Katherine which is why my fever was so much worse. She blamed my weaker constitution on the fact that she thinks I eat very little. Me? have a small appetite? I don't think in my entire life I have been accused of having a small appetite, but somehow Mama has gotten that concept into her head. Perhaps this gives you an idea of how much they try to feed us. Tuesday morning I felt much better, though still not 100%. I came to school to take all three of my finals to get them over with since stressing while I was trying to rest wasn't really working out for me.
When I arrived at school I was greeted by two packages, one from my mother and one from Aunt Joan. Getting these packages lifted my spirits instantaneously. It is kinda funny, being with this group for these three months. We have all bought our entire wardrobes here, so we all know all of each other's outfits, hence we all notice very small changes very quickly. Literally within moments of me putting on my new earrings from Aunt Joan people complimented me on them and asked where I got them from, students and teachers. It is very strange that I have been with these same 17 people for the whole semester and starting on saturday I will not see any of them for an entire month, more than that I will be alone for a whole month. On my journey to Jaisalmer I was away from Katherine for the first time for longer than 12 hours since literally the first day here, and it felt so strange.
Right now I am in the "nervous anticipatory phase." It is the same feeling I had before coming to coming to India, before coming to Wesleyan, before coming to UWC. It is the "oh my god am I really doing this" phase. The feeling before embarking on something completely unknown but knowing I will tackle what ever comes my and that some how I will get through it. To help ease and aide this feeling I took my first step in my pilgrimage yesterday.
A pilgrimage is a simultaneous physical and spiritual discipline. I wanted to cut my hair before India but decided to do it in India. In short I have thought about it many times but my plans kept getting postponed. I decided it would be a good idea to cut my hair for in the mountains it would be cooler while hiking to have shorter hair as well as take less resources (water and soap) to maintain. I finally decided to get my hair cut on my birthday, as a birthday gift to myself as well as a symbolic renewal of myself. However, yesterday I tried to get in the house but no one answered, so in a moment of compulsion I went to the salon across the street and got my hair cut. It is now just above shoulder length. After coming home everyone seemed to think that I in fact look better with short hair, I rather like it too though I am still getting used to it. So I have taken my first physical transformation on my spiritual journey to understand the myths of the himalayas.
As I said before, I will be leaving on Saturday for the mountains and will be there until May 5th. I should have limited internet access from april 4th-7th, and then again from April 23-May 5th. In between I will be hiking in the mountains. Wish me luck for I am currently feeling the "oh my god am I really doing this" emotion, but I should come back with at least some good stories.
Much love always
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