Homestay, Rickshaws, Amritsar, missing you and more

So warning, as of Saturday at 2 am I will have spent a week here, and it feels like I have been here forever, so this will be a really really long e-mail of all kinds of updates.

I was going to start with the most recent a move backwards, but I have been composing this e-mail over many days, so forgive me, there will be a significant amount of jumping around.

Thursday, a girl named Katharine from Kenyon (who happened to also be my roommate in the Ashram) and I met our home stay mother. I cannot remember her name right now because she instructed us to call her "mama." She lives alone with her domestic help (Soha), and is quite a spritely, energetic and loving old lady. She is from Kashmir and speaks English very well, though I suspect that Katherine and I will have lots of opportunities to practice our Hindi. She lives in a fantastic part of town, right next to a big market called Laj Pat Nagar, where there is everything from open air markets, to upscale boutiques, internet cafes (don't know where exactly yet), cinemas (so excited to see a bollywood film!), Coffee houses (way better than starbucks), and more. It is about a 20min rickshaw ride from our school, and I'll tell you more about the rickshaws in a bit. Mama is a very religious woman (Hindu), with a sweet little domestic temple in the corner of the house with Rama, Sita and Laksmana statues with additions of Hanuman and Ganehsa. We are required to pray to the temple before we leave every day so that the gods will protect us. I am excited to hear more stories of the gods as our stay continues. Mama is very supportive of our ambitions to learn to cook. Friday morning we had Indian french toast, I can't wait to learn how to make everything! She is also excited to teach us kashmiry cooking. Her house is quite nice, middleclass and grandma-ish. Katherine and i have a room we share with a bathroom. When we first arrived, we desperately needed to do a laundry since we hadn't had an opportunity since we arrived. We were told that our homestays will either have the servants do the laundry or have a dobi that will come and do it for us. When we told mama we needed to do a laundry, she provided us with some buckets, some soap and a little footstool to sit on. We got our arms elbow deep into the "culture" and washed all our clothes, then brought them upstairs on the roof to dry. I bet Katherine and I will be expert hand-washers by the time we leave. I have to say that I have become really fond of bucket baths since hot water doesn't seem to come out of the shower head. Yet on the flip side, it makes washing my long thick hair rather difficult.

Thursday we had to choose our "practica," our extra circulars. I was planning on taking dance but they didn't offer it this year, I am still trying to find a good teacher that perhaps I can take independent lessons with. They offered to us, Tabla (drums), Sitar, heritage walks around Delhi, yoga, manubanhi painting, pottery, Indian magic, and cooking. Though the all were intriguing, I settled on cooking.

Wednesday we had half of the day off, so in the afternoon I went with some people from SIT to Kahn market. It was an interesting place. Lots of typical small shops and street vendors, but then there was sprinkled in the alleyways these posh galleries with modern art on the walls and air conditioning. The doors to these places had to be knocked on, and then a security guard inside with unlock the door and let us in, and then again out when we were ready. From there we went to Lodi gardens, a beautiful open gardens with tombs and temples. I have a few pictures from here I will try to get up, internet has been limited. Here there was also a labyrinth of roses, and other nooks and crannies we explored. Lodi gardens has lots of courting couples around, lounging on the grass, sitting on benches, etc. It was very cute. Later we all met up at a nice restaurant in cannought place (another market area). On the way back, we took auto rickshaws back to the ashram. Let me preface this with the fact that I have had quite a few good experiences with rickshaws and that they will continue to be the main mode of transportation to and from class as well as around Delhi, these are just two stories of a less than good experience. So on the way back, we found a driver who accepted our price (we have to negotiate a price before we get in since the meters almost never work), and soon after getting in, we realized that this driver was pretty drunk. Rickshaw rides are kinda like a carnival ride, weaving in and out of traffic, but this one was a but a bit more than usual. Fortunately we were all fine, the most amusing and culturally strange moment was when he decided to pull over on the side of a busy road, and take a piss, and then stumble back in to take us to our ashram. At least we there were three of us together (including a boy which made us feel a lot more comfortable), that could laugh about it. My next rickshaw story was a bit overwhelming.
On Friday, almost everyone had to register with the government as stipulated by their visas, but for whatever reason I didn't need to. So on Friday I met Agni (Abe), and got to see the main bazaar and Old Delhi, both of which are far dirtier and more crowded than South New Delhi. It was really nice to see Agni, though far too short. Thinking I should get home before dark I got into a rickshaw and told him to take me to Laj Pat Nagar near the Mujen Hospital. At a stoplight a beggar child came up begging for money. We had been taught during orientation that the child beggars are almost always linked to what is like the begging mafia here, they get the children addicted to drugs and use them to beg because they get more money and require basically pimp them out. If anyone has seen Slumdog Millionaire (which they are very proud of here, the soundtrack is played all the time on the radio), they depict the begging scene explicitly. So in short, it is better to give them food and not money or things they can sell. So I have been carrying around candy to give to the children or pregnant women I see. I offered this child some candy, and of course he kept begging for money. Soon three more children came, two of which got into the rickshaw with me. Placing their heads on my knees and tugging on my Dupati (my long scarf). I was really overwhelmed at them invading my space like this, it would be like a beggar in New york jumping into the taxi with you. I tried to ignore them at first clutching my purse, and then I tried to push them out. Then a swarm of about 12 children came and surrounded the rickshaw, ranging from I would guess three to ten, one was also holding an infant, all with their hands in my face. I went to hand out the remainder of my candy, but they snatched the entire candy bag away from me, and the rest of the children continued to beg. At this point the rickshaw driver started to hit the children which wasn't making them leave and just stressing me out more. Thank goodness the light finally changed and we left the children behind. I learned from that experience to only give things out as you are driving away, or only if I am in a car I can lock to doors in. Soon after the driver needed to get gas, so I had to wait at the gas station for about 10 min, and by this time it was dark. Finally we drove and "arrived," but when he stopped I didn't recognize where I was. Granted, at this time I had only been to my homestay's house for a night, but I was at the emergency room at the hospital, and I had no idea where I was. I told the driver this wasn't where I asked to be dropped off, he gestured for me to walk across this dark area to get to where I want, I yelled, "NO YOU take me where I told you to drop me off!" His English was poor, and I got to the point of arguing (even not paying the agreed price) that I was worried even if I go back in the rickshaw he would take me somewhere even worse. So i got out and asked the security guard how to get to Laj Pat Nagar, he pointed in the same direction, through a dark alley/construction site. I couldn't really call Mama, she is a grandmother and wouldn't probably know where to find me or give me directions, and Kathrine didn't know the area herself. So I just put up all my shields, got through it and found myself in a familiar area, though still not sure where I was. Long story short, I wandered around for about 30 min until I finally found the house, tired and a little shook up from my first culture shock experience in India.

Saturday morning at 5:45 am (right as my body is finally starting to adjust), we caught a six hour train to Amritsar, a city on the boarder of Pakistan with the holiest Sikh temple, the Golden Temple. The first, I would guess three hours, of the train ride, there was a teenager with his laptop that played the same three backstreet boys songs, over and over and over and over again. Every time there was a pause I would think, "thank god..." and just then it would start again. Finally the program director (Storm-ji) asked him to stop. Amritsar was interesting. We went to the college campus where we had a lovely performance of singing and Banga dancing (a folk dance of which many Bollywood moves are derived from). We had our first experience of being "foreign celebrities" where the student asked to take pictures with us and of us. In the president's office he went around asking where everyone was from, I said that i go to school in Connecticut, and he asked if my parents were Indian and I was from India. I thought he was joking, so I laughed and said politely that my mother is Chinese and my Father Jewish. I found out later that he thought I was from the North East. I have sort of noticed that people don't stare at me as much as the others. It was pretty funny that at the Golden Temple, there were many snuk photographs of Indians inching as close as they could get to the people in my group and a friend nearby to quickly snap the photo. Either I am bad at noticing when this happens to me or it simply doesn't happen to me. I am taking it as a compliment though, that people just think I belong here! The temple was really stunning though, a gold plated building in the middle of a huge tank (of holy water), with the surrounding structures, walls and floors made of beautiful cool marble inlayed with intricate tessellations and designs. When entering most temples in India, you must remove your shoes. I was really impressed with how clean it was considering people were all walking around barefoot. People bathe in the tank, and it is seen similarly to the holy powers of the Ganges, it is thought to wash away all sins and help cure people. We saw their holy book get put to sleep in an ornate palanquin, as the gold temple shimmered in the night light, and then in the day (on Sunday) we saw it glisten in the sunlight. We got to see the massive kitchens. Part of Sikhism temples is that everyone who comes can be fed, we were told 60,000 people were fed each day. The temple was really just stunning, I wish I could have stayed longer to do some interesting people watching, though I felt a little intrusive just because I know so little about Sikhism and this was obviously such a powerful place for the Sikh (pronounced "sick") people.

The rest of Amritsar was less interesting and our tour guide was rather un-organized. This was an interesting weekend for me. I felt a little sad on Saturday, for it was Sara's birthday, but I didn't have access to the internet so I couldn't contact anyone who knew her and because it was such a rigorous schedule that day, I wasn't able to seek out my tradition of having something special and sweet to celebrate the sweetness she brought into my life. I guess I was just feeling pretty lonely. I am still getting to know people, and I didn't feel like I knew anyone well enough to share that with them. Furthermore cliques are forming and I frequently find myself on the outside of circles. While I am very open to making friends, I really don't want to spend a lot of energy trying to impress or work my way into groups here, I am here to experience India, I have lots of friends I love and miss, and this is only for a semester, however this is also a bit of a lonely path and is requiring me to pull on my internal resources for comfort. I think on the train I started to feel homesick and thinking that my honeymoon with India was over. However sometime in the evening (after having a pretty bad meal in a really stingy place that a lot of people got sick from), I was able to open up to a girl named Miriam, who insisted that for breakfast we find something sweet to celebrate Sara. Our search didn't manifest until the afternoon when we had a fantastic equivalent of a mocha frappacino (but way better), that made both of our days. I am really grateful for Miriam, and as soon as I felt like I had her as a friend my honeymoon with India was back and I loved the group again. I was yet another gentle lesson that all things pass. However this little episode got me reflecting that I think it is really hard to make friends and adjust to this whole new culture and country. Like I know the support is there, but it also feels like it has to be created and molded before it can be used.

I think I will be traveling to Jaipur next weekend and save Agra for the next time. I have been trying to narrow down ideas for my ISP, but there is just so much I am interested in. I trying to find something up north so I don't have to be in 120 degree heat the whole time, I would like to have a practica component, and I am interested in goddesses, feminine sexuality, cooking, film, tantric art, mandalas, sacred geometry, and myth in general...I know I can't have it all. A lead I am currently looking into is the sacred pilgrimage to the source of the Ganges to look that the symbolism of the ancient goddess that embodies the symbolism of India herself (there is also a nice hot spring once you reach the top). And I also read an interesting article about "Hindie" films (Hindi+Indie) and the rise of the Indie industry here which might make a fascinating study. I am still interested in cooking, but I think i have decided not to make a film since I still have to write a 20-40 page paper, and I don't think I can feasibly make a quality film and write a quality paper in that amount of time with travel and research.

Ok...after a long few days I am glad to be back in Delhi, back at my homestay. I look forward to eating salads and fresh fruit on the breezy roof of the program center, and petting Cushie (the Great Dane dog who is very cuddly). I still have so much more to say, about how I realize what a privileged upper-class experience I am getting, about all the new clothes I got, about my crazy dreams I have been having, but I think this is more than enough for now. I am sorting through my photos and will get them up soon, and I am sure I will have more to write in no time.
Much love always,